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Greetings, my Lovelies!
Sometimes I wonder if anyone even reads my blogs, but no matter. I’m still going to write them as I still believe it helps me to work through some shit, whether it’s career, personal, or mental. So before I dive in, how are things in your little corner of the world? I hope you’re well and that life has been kind to you lately.
Ya know, I never thought of myself as a “pick-me” kind of girly. In fact, I don’t know that I had ever even heard that term until a few years ago. It turns out, I most definitely am a pick-me person. I want to be chosen, and I truly don’t know that I ever have been.
I can hear you now saying.. But… marriage?!? Yeah, I’ve done that twice. And each time I thought I was being chosen, but it turned out I was only chosen initially. That feeling of being chosen wasn’t maintained. It was almost as if when that ring went on my finger, the men I married determined they had me, and I didn’t need to continue what they started the relationship with.
Everyone always says that you should keep on dating your partner/spouse. I tried that. Holy shit, did I try that. My efforts were not reciprocated. Not at all.
Y’all, I’ve been the taken-for-granted wife. I’ve been the woman hidden for whatever reason. I can’t do any of that anymore. I want to be chosen and loved loudly. I don’t want to be tucked away. I don’t want to be the person who only exists in DMs. I want someone who is proud to have me and wants the world to know how proud they are to have me in their life. I want someone who is excited to show how much they love me, cherish me, and want to fully share themselves with me. And it doesn’t matter to me whether that’s one person or ten, because yes, I have, after all these years, determined that I am polyamorous. (Looking back, I should have known!)
Is that too damn much to ask for?
If I can’t be given that, then walk away. Let me have my peace. I can’t stand being in the shadows any longer.
I’m not certain this was all I wanted to say, but I still don’t feel well, so I’m going to just stop it here. Hopefully, this all makes sense. If not, let me know, and I’ll try to explain further.
Just know that I have finally realized not only what I want, but what I deserve.
Until next time and always…
Have courage. Be kind. Be happy!
Much love and proudly chosen happiness from me to you,
Shelly (a/k/a Dawn Love)
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